You can begin doing that by talking to her more about general things including what's going on with her job or her life.
You must start TALKING DIRTY to your woman. When you start to feel that your wife is emotionally disconnected from you, you'll likely set out to talk to her about it. Dry masturbation tends to feel rougher and more aggressive compared to a smoother stroke of a well-lubricated shaft.
He/she may also attempt to get more physically with you by touching and kissing. This nervousness often leads to jerky movements, sudden stops, and a general lack of sexual "flow." The results can be an "on bottom" partner who not only doesn't reach orgasm, but may start wondering where his usually submissive and confident sex kitten has gone.
Which means that your lack of sex, and your wife's lack of interest in sex could be indications that your marriage is more trouble than you think.